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Sajid Khan: “There have been numbers of times in the last 6 years, when I wished to commit suicide”

Sanjana Bailwal2 years ago2 years ago1317 mins

An exclusive chat. Sajid Khan tells of the hell went through after MeToo allegations & how much the industry now keeps him from moving because he got a clean chit.

He was busy shooting for Housefull 4 in 2018 when allegations of sexual harassment from several women turned his life upside down. The tempest of charges, from harassment to unwanted advances, brought about his downfall overnight, crippling his livelihood. Sajid Khan, 54 years old, became an accused in the #MeToo movement in Bollywood — called out, ridiculed and vilified. For six years, he chooses silence. Until this. With much hesitation in his voice, he reveals what the last several years have done to him in both mental and physical terms.

Sajid’s Life been like in the past six years, after the #MeToo allegations?

Many times in the last six years, I have thought of ending my life. Extremely bad, in the sense that I have been out of work. Cleared by the Indian Film and Television Directors Association (IFTDA), yet still struggling to get back on my feet. Had to sell my house, and now I am in a rented flat due to no earnings. I started earning at the age of 14 because my father (actor, producer, and director, Kamran Khan) died and left me and (my sister) Farah (Khan Kunder, filmmaker and choreographer) in debt. Today, I wish my mum was alive (Menaka Irani died in 2024) to see me trying to get back on my feet. More than her son, I was her caretaker. Quite hard has been the life.

‘Words don’t matter; work does’: Sajid said

It’s interesting since you’ve spoken about your direct demeanor and its influence on your work. Do you think it really worked in unfolding events that way? Looking back, yes. Today, everyone does it on Youtube, but earlier in my career, I was doing things just like that—saying something sensational to get the headlines. Once again, working on television, my job was to entertain people. I rubbed a lot of people the wrong way…When I watch some of my interviews today, I wish I could go back to that time and say, ‘Idiot, what are you talking about? Why are you so brash?’ Words don’t matter; work does. Because I was so brash, I rubbed people the wrong way. I would apologise whenever I realised it, but when work stops, you start questioning your life. I have mellowed down now. I just want to work to survive now.

How have you dealt with the allegations and the trial that followed?

I walked out of Housefull 4 because I didn’t want the dates to get messed up. Sajid Nadiadwala had created a huge set and brought together 10 to 15 busy actors. Changing the dates would have disrupted this film for years. My trial by media, very much, gave just one-sidedness. What does a man work for? Respect. That done, his self-respect comes into doubt. Offensive humour was what people knew me for; I believed in offence as the best defence. But I’ve learned the hard way. I have never spoken with disrespect to a woman and never will. My mother has raised me for women and men alike. I did not know that my words would cost me so dearly.

Sajid’s Family Reaction

The family reacted quite normally. About ten days before it. I was shooting in Jaisalmer, Rajasthan when my mother fell ill. I was worried about her heart attack when I had to leave the film. So I told Farah (sister) to hide the newspapers from her. For about ten days, I only saw my parents. I pretended that everything was alright and left and came as if I had been on the set. I’ve not, and never will, talk against any woman. Of course, the last six years have been some serious introspection. Everyone else went back to work, but I was not. It really hit me. I realized I would need to change not just my life but also the way in which I spoke with people. I am much more restrained now.

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